This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize