I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
