My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
