one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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