I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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