There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
