I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
