We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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