are you still at the devil's house?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
