I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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