Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
