...so i touched it.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm both gender and math confused
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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