I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
