There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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