A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
