Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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