Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
