Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
