My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
