I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
