im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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