My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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