Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
