I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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