So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
