i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
