Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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