Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she smelled like a LAN party
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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