i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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