yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
