When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize