Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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