hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
