And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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