Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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