she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
