Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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