Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
