i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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