the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
