can u get pink eye on your cock?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
