Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize