I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
