Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
