i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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