What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm bleeding and have questions
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
