Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
