I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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