I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
