lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
