If that was your dad, he is hot
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
