I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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