You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
