your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
