Too much gin, very little bucket
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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