just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
