you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
