stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
