Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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