i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize