hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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