he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
