we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
