Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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