Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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