THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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