Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he was CRYING into my vagina
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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