For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize