He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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