Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
